Monday, September 9, 2013

Enduring Well

In my past two posts I have gone on about the fury and disappointment of my dating life to how I have turned it over to God and started praying specifically for my husband. But its not just dating that gives me that itch of impatience. In a world where everything is virtually at my fingertips it seems there is a quick way to feeling better instead of simply enduring through the wilderness of uncertainty. Recently I’ve been feeling that I have been doing a whole lot of enduring and started to wonder what the purpose of all this muck and mire was about. I wondered if God couldn’t see my hard work, my good intentions, my dedication. But there I stood still knee deep in disappointment with the outcome and aching for something that would bring me joy. So as I continued waddling around in the wilderness of frustration Jesus began to teach me a lesson about how I need to learn to endure well.

The definition of patience is as follows: the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties. I’ve become so accustomed to instant gratification that the heart of patience has gone out the window. Sure I’m waiting for things to happen in my life but not without lack of complaint, serenity or fortitude. Patience is a discipline that I have not mastered but that has such a great purpose if done the right way. When I let my mind entertain thoughts of how I can find a solution quickly for the things I ache for I lose sight of God. But realizing how important enduring can be makes it easier to do because I know there is a purpose for it. I’ve come across this verse before but read it again today and it resonates in my heart so much right now:

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?  If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I love that last verse because it gives me the reason to endure well- to not give up, to wait on God, to seek his guidance. To know that when God is silent even when it feels like I have had enough he telling me that something is being created through the hardship I’m enduring. In the muck and the mire I can endure even when I’ve reached the brink because in that place I can develop the character of Christ in a deeper and richer way by being dependent on the truth that everything he does is for my good.  Jesus is preparing me for what is to come in what I do today. And I don’t think he is preparing me for something easy, quick or futile. I think he is preparing me for something grandeur than I ever expected. As I learn how to discipline myself to endure well living in the heart of patience I start to feel peace and believe that what Jesus has for me is worth the wait.