Diving In

Dive In....

I raised my hand above my squinty eyes to shade them from the beaming sun. I observed the ocean's pale blue color become deeper and richer as it streched beyond the horizon, white capped waves crashed to the shore; the cold water briefly touching the tips of my toes felt refreshing as the smooth hot sand exfoliated my gritty feet.

Etching forward the water rises and as I breath deeply I can taste the salty water the smell awakens my senses. Tears peak from behind my eyes and start to stream down my face I thought I had grown numb to my failures, to lonliness, to saddness, to pain but the salty aroma reminded me of wounds yet to be healed. As the waves pulled back from the shoreline I heard a soft whisper "I am with you…dive in".

As quickly as the whisper came it went and racing thoughts started to swarm in my head again. The smooth sand started to feel like sandpaper and the teasing water that touched my toes was soon not enough. I began to ache all over as the sun beat down so I stepped in up to my knees hoping for refreshment. As the waves lapped up against me I heard it again, a little louder this time "I am with you…dive in".

Without a thought I screamed "Dive in?!" I already have come in further than I wanted to, I was just coming for a visit, not to dive in!"As soon as the words left my mouth, I bit my salty sea lips and the truth overwhelmed my halfheartedness. My faith was only knee deep-Shallow and afraid always standing on the outskirts and never diving in. Yet he still calls to me even when I just come to visit, even when I just go enough for me but not all the way for him.

The tears came again, not because of me but because of him-for him. For His deep love for me, for never giving up on me. He believes in me, he is with me on this sandy seashore and his love is deeper than the ocean and streches farther than I can comprehend! I start to move, the water rises up higher and higher until I throw myself in to the cool salty water. Over my head it rushes, waves crashing all around, I'm part of the ocean, I'm in the deep, I can't see where it ends but I finally found where freedom begins.....

By Diving In