Friday, January 13, 2012

The Past

There was a time I was afraid to look you in the eye. A time when I thought you had gotten the best of me and there was nothing left to offer. You reminded me of all my selfishness, all my mistakes until I lowered my head in shame again and again. You know me well, and want to hold me captive. You want to keep me under your thumb without a chance to move forward. As soon as I take a small step you come fighting with your brutal lies and remind me of all the times I failed. Then once again I crumble, defeated, and my heart becomes heavy and burdened. I'm stuck in a room with four walls and no door, the corners folding in on me until I can't breath.

But today is different, today I can look you in the eye. You may have gotten some of me but you haven't got the rest of me. There is a best in me that you have never known. I learned alot from you and I'm ready to move on. I know there will be times when you will come swinging, ready to fight for my attention but there will be no more lies because I have come to know the truth. You see, I have become a new creation. I laid down the old me and put on the new. Who I am has been changed by my Savior who showed me the door, the four corners are no longer folding in, they have disappeared and now I'm free from the past.

My Past

I come from a past of making alot of bad choices. There were times I thought I could never move forward because I didn't believe I was worth anything or that I could ever change. There were times that I thought if only I could get someones approval than I could move forward. I realized that I could stay in the past forever because I ran out of my own willingness and worth. I found myself at the pit and there was only one answer. The answer was forgiveness. To truly believe that the Lord came here and died on the cross so I could be forgiven regardless of my situation and mistakes.

He reached out to me with open arms, he took me in and showed me that I'm worth something. He showed me that he can wash me whiter than snow and that he can truly make beauty from the ashes. I know this is a heavy post but thats the thing about the Lord when you discover the truth, it shakes you to the core, he transforms a persons heart until its overflowing with thankfulness so much so that there is nothing you can do but share it with others and hope that you will inspire someone, especially someone who is hurting.

God loves the most faithful believer and is after the most wandering soul ~~~Nicole Renee


1 comment: