Infinite

Finite-Limited, Predicted, Restricted

Infinite- Immeasurable, Unlimited, Boundless, Never-Ending

I find myself living for the finite lately, my mind is focused on what I can control, what I know, what I desire. I live so small and unaware of the infinite power that surrounds me. Not my own power but the majesty almighty who nothing is impossible for. My eyes see the light, its so strong and wonderful yet I squint and look away because it seems too much to take in. The boundless, the immeasurable, for me is the incomprehendable and I would rather just focus on what is familiar and what I think is safe and sound. Yet I'm finding what I think is safe is just something that tides me over for now, it quenches my thirst for a minute and leaves me parched for more the next. You see the finite is a empty relationship that satisfies lust, its the high of being at a party but the low of the hangover, its the adrenaline rush of getting a makeover to the reality that a broken heart lies beneath. It can be many things that keep us captive to run to the quick fix, the medication that leads to destruction, the band-aid that temporarily hides the wound. The finite is where I'm stuck because it blinds me from what truly sets me free and that is the infinite. The infinite is a life that knows its worth, its a love that penetrates past the flesh and lives in the soul, its the pure joy of knowing we have a pursuer.  Immeasurable love is upon us, its ours for the taking if we choose to believe there is something beyond our peripheral vision. If we choose to hold tight to the promises he gave us in a world gone mad I believe that is when we find freedom. When we want to compromise to the finite we will find it restricts us but when we look past instant gratification and cling tight to the infinite this whole new place opens up within us. We are no longer parched in an instant but the longings deep inside us are filled to the brim.

XOXO
Nicole Renee

Liebster Award

 

Nominated by Kim

Random facts about Me
I have several nicknames including Colie and Giggles
I have a passion for people with special needs and the elderly
I wish I had a nose ring and tattoo but haven't taken the plunge
I'm in love with poetry
I"m a free spirit- always dreaming
My parents almost named me Danielle
I have two brothers- one an artist and the other a former break dancer
I laugh when people fall down or at unexpected things- baaad, very baaad
I finally figured out how to link up to other blogs because of this nomination! Linking up for dummies.com- haha!
I get my energy boost from being alone and not in large groups
I love music and have tried to become a pianist and guitar player- still trying;)

1.)    If you had to describe your style, what would you call it?Bohemian Hippie with a dash of sophistication and edge

2.)    What type of workout do you prefer, cardio or strength training? I enjoy both- right now I do the bazillion butt lift workout (ooohlaha), pilates, and zumba

3.)    What’s your earliest childhood memory?That is a tough one, but one of my most favorite was when I used to fall asleep on my dad’s belly (I called it my pillow) and I would pretend to be asleep so he would carry me to my room so I didn’t have to walkJ

4.)    Why did you begin blogging?I began blogging because writing is my escape, the place to dream, and where sometimes they come true. I also blog for the brokenhearted, lonely, and those in need of redeeming love

5.)    Would you rather watch a movie at the theater or at home on DVD?I love to watch movies by the fire with a glass of red wine or prosecco and a heaping bowl of buttered popcorn….oh don’t forget a comfy pair of sweats

6.)    Which birthday has been the best so far?My best birthday- would probably have to be my 30^th because my family made a homemade video of my journey thus far and some of my most favorite people were with me to celebrate

7.)    What’s my pet peeve?This is a funny one because mine are kinda weird. I can’t stand it when guys don’t cut their fingernails, when someone has food on their face during dinner it grosses me out, and I have a hard time adjusting when plans change last minute- Okay I know more than one weird pet peeve!

8.)    Is there a language you’d like to learn? If so, what language and why?Italian- because I’m half Italian and there is so much I love about our culture from the boisterous talking, amazing food, hand gestures, and because I think Italy is just plain romantic and inspiring.

9.)    What’s your favorite thing to have for dessert?Okay- so I love dessert. I love the strawberry lemon cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. Love the chocolate bag from McCormick and Schmidt’s- let me paint the picture shall I- a chocolate bag, filled with rich creamy mouse topped with raspberries, blueberries and strawberries…simply amazing. Oh ya and I LOVE ice cream with a nice cup of hot mocha.

10.)  What’s the last book you read? Or what are you reading right now?Right now I’m reading the Mark of the Lion Trilogy- again! My third time through, I love anything Francine Rivers writes…life changing. I’m also reading on the side- Jewel in his crown, Strong willed child or dreamer?, and the bible ( need to do that more though)

11.) Are you an early bird or a night owl?I’m a night owl for sure! By the time my son goes to bed I am craving some me time and so I live it up at night. That is when I read, write, and soak up any moment where I can be inspired. I try not to watch TV and get done the things I love to do for myself- but I pay for it in the morning usually. One of my goals is to get to bed earlier so I am a morning person especially on the weekend. Nothing like fresh crisp air, the morning colors painting the sky, and a nice cup of coffee and a fresh day. So I’m working on becoming a morning girl.

 My Nominations

I nominated ladies below who have shown me love and I can't wait to learn more about them! Please check them out as well as the lovely Kim who saw something special in me and some other amazing ladies

 

Christine, Lynn, Daisy Girl, Jessica, Leah, Jordan, Nicole, Blogging While Single and Over 30, Melissa, Amber, Jillian

Questions for my lovely nominees:

1.) If you could meet anyone that has existed who would it be?

2.) Who do you want to inspire with your blog?

3.) If you could pick any other career you wanted, what would it be?

4.) Where is your escape place?

5.) What is your absolute favorite fragrance to wear?

6.) Do you prefer make-up or natural?

7.) What is your favorite verse or quote?

8.) Who makes you want to be better each day?

9.) If one post you wrote would be seen by the world what would it be about?

10.) What drives you nuts?

11.) What inspiration do you have for anyone who is beginning to blog? Words of wisdom?

Rules for Liebster award- I didn't create em and decided not to break them;)

1. Post 11 Random facts about yourself
2. Answer the 11 questions nominator asked
3. You (the nominee) come up with 11 new nominees (no tag backs) and 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
4. Nominees should have less than 200 followers and should link back to you on their Liebster blog post
5. Lastly, be sure to actually let the nominees know they've been nominated.

XOXO

Nicole Renee

Roots

Roaring winds

Empty words, Falling from lips

Eyes open to debris

Scratchy, dry, tired

Voices

Meek, Desperate

Home, a foreign place

Roots, upside down

 The roots…my burdens

Whispers, Soft and still

Eyes illuminated

Sandman gone

Home, someplace unexpected

Roots, planted

New Life

XOXO
Nicole Renee

Loved

My very best friend growing up told me about God when I was about 10, I had known about him before but she helped ingrain his love into my heart. I used to worry a lot, if you knew me you would call me a hypochondriac. So one day I was at her house worrying as usual about something ridiculous I’m sure and I remember her telling me about heaven. I’ll never forget what she said “One day there will be no tears and you won’t be afraid about anything and we will be in heaven sliding down giraffes necks together”, what most people would think sound glorious basically freaked me out. All I could think about is my parents , friends and terrified I would not know who they were or see them again. And then I thought it would be weird to have no other emotion but happiness- my typical hypochondriac thoughts taking over again. But I will never forget that day we talked about Jesus and how his presence  was always a constant in my life.

Along my journey with God I have strayed  on many occasions only to come back pleading through tears for forgiveness, hoping for another chance to follow through with my original prayer. I have requested another chance at least a thousand different times in a thousand different ways. Often times I would beat myself up time and time again for being me, the same old me, the same old mistakes, the same old prayers. However as I have grown up I have started to see things differently, I see God differently. I realize that it’s not about me at all but more about what God has done for me and the way he sees me is beautiful.  I have found that God is less interested in me following rules and more interested in the intricate details of my heart.

The reason I say that is because undeservedly God still loves me after all my failed attempts at life and getting it right. I have found that he lives in me now more than ever and I still haven’t gotten things right. Funny that he can live in something in need of so much work. I feel like living in me would be like taking residence in a rickety home with cracked windows, ceilings, and floors. Yet he sees me as brand new with the finest granite and marble fit for a princess. Doesn’t that just sweep you off your feet? It does mine and I twirl in wonder of a magnificent God who adores me for who I am. I come to him with my plight and he forgives me, what a gift of grace.

As I fall in love with the Lord I find that obedience follows because I learn to trust his faithfulness and I know to the depths of me that his desire for me is good.  He shows me that  I’m meant to extend the same love to others he has given me and I’m also to accept the grace of his love each day by remembering what he did for me on the cross.

May you find his love present to you today, just as you are. May you feel loved completely today, just as you are.

XOXO

Nicole Renee

Overflow

Okay, so you know the little knob thingy you pull on your bathroom sink that stops the water from going down the drain? Well sometimes I think I should have one attached to the back of my head for moments when I want to pour out way to much emotion all at once without putting actual thought into what I'm saying. I'm an introvert and I tend to have that overly nice syndrome (that I have mentioned before) and I also to tend to go with the flow and put on a smiley face but the truth is everyone has their moment. I just tend to keep mine inside until one final thing bites my biscuit and all of a sudden I have a faucet of words pouring out of me (some not so nice words) all at once. OR I have those moments when I'm talking to someone and they start going through the list of things that are bothering them and in an instant I find myself surging with this power and in agreement with what the other person is ranting about. When I find myself in these situations I often find myself saying something cruddy and in the moment it feels like the greatest thing of all time to get my own frustrations off my chest only to find a few hours later (or minutes) I feel utterly disappointed in myself and mad for the lack of little knobby things that would have saved me the backlash of my words.

Being intentional about our words can be one of the hardest things to do especially when gossip turns up but I'm finding that checking in on my heart daily makes such a difference in what I will allow myself to say or take part in when others are talking. I remind myself of this verse I once heard at church, ever since I heard it I knew it was powerful.

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

Luke 6:45 NIV

"Out of the overflow of his heart the mouth speaks".....I'm so very thankful for this verse because I'm not perfect, I have spoken out of anger, resentment and bitterness. Yet when I think of this verse I think of a second chance because it reminds me of the power of what we say and that I need to be intentional about what I store up in my heart so that when I speak its like a treasure offering something good that builds up and just plain loves....and best of all no knobby things are needed:).


XOXO
Nicole

Whoever you are

This space of the world is for the brokenhearted

my mission is to inspire and remind you, whoever you are that you are precious

This space of the world is for the ones who got it all wrong

my transparency is to show you that I did too

This space of the world is for the ones who feel alone, scared, and filled with anxiety

my story is not far from yours

This space of the world is to welcome you, whoever you are with open arms

If my words could reach out from this very space to meet with you they would be a warm smile and arms stretched open to embrace you in a bear hug

I was taught about the nearness of love when I was at my worst

I was shown the way out of the pit to solid ground

Most of all I was embraced for who I was no matter where I came from

The grace I received is the light I hope is found in this little space of the world for you, whoever you are.

Unveiled

I thought I would have been unveiled by now with that feeling of being complete and accomplished. Yet somehow I’m still waiting for my unveiling like its far off in the distance or unattainable. I have these beautiful images of myself feeling free and liberated from the chains of self-doubt, procrastinations, and weariness that comes from the business of life. Yet I wake up to the reality of the murky mess that engulfs me daily. The constant sludge I pry one foot from only to place the other in the sludge I didn’t see coming. You know that saying “it’s always something?”, well it seems there always is something. Even writing those words brings me heaviness because I’m restlessly trapped with a heart pounding for an excitement that I hope awaits me tomorrow. I find myself feeling stagnant and afraid of allowing myself to get a little uncomfortable by doing things different so I can actually live those dreams and ideas I vividly can see in my mind.

There is a dilemma with dreaming big or having grandiose ideas, the dilemma found in the insecurity of ourselves and haunting lack of time. Sometimes I blindly go through life believing that I don’t have a choice in the matter or able to bring into fruition the desires of my heart. So I decided to think of this whole unveiling thing differently because the truth is we are always going to have a higher potential to meet, there will always be more to attain, there is no perfect moment to say “I’ve made it!” As with faith each day is a new unveiling of our hearts and our needs, not one is day is the same. Some days we cling to the Lord’s each and every promise just to get by, other days we merely smile with gratitude and overflowing love because we can feel Gods presence.

The times that I feel closest to my dreams and finding my wholeness is through my faith. It’s in that day by day walk of learning more, seeking more, and trusting more that I find I’m not afraid to get out of my comfort zone. It’s when I listen for Gods voice and  pray for his presence that I find the sludge falls off and I’m free. When I welcome the grace of a new day with thanksgiving its then I see the path set before me and the ways I need to go. It’s when I surrender completely that I find myself unveiled, seen and known- completely vulnerable, completely fragile, yet completely loved. That is when it occurs to me that I’m grateful that there is not one perfect moment when I will feel I’ve arrived, instead I find joy in knowing that there will be many moments if I live purposely, fully, and faithfully.

A little daily inspiration

Purpose- You are here for a good, great, wonderful, magnificent purpose that only you can carry out

Beautiful- Look at yourself today and find ONE things that is unique to you and be proud of it

Steps- Take one small step today towards that grandiose dream- jot down your idea, blog about it, tell a close friend about it

God- tell him your plans, your desires, ask for a door to be open, ask for the way, ask for someone to come in your life to help you….I know he will provide!

Confidence- Know that you have what it takes to do amazing things, say “I can” out loud and be conscious of the self-talk in your head

Transformation- Remind yourself that you can reinvent yourself and ideas. You are constantly being molded and shaped- Your not stuck or trapped, your free to be that person you desire!

XOXO

Nicole Renee

Listen

Psalm 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Quiet the world around you

The people, voices, and expectations

Take a moment  to hear his still voice

Like sheep we often stray and need his discernment

Stop trying to figure it out on your own, a puzzle with a missing piece

Cease the endless questions of how, why, when, where?

Clear out the chaos that breaths distraction

Open your ears, heart, and soul

Listen

And be led

XOXO
Nicole Renee

Top 10 Thoughts

1.) We gotta be kind to ourselves

2.) Find friendships that help to GROW you

3.) Be transparent because not one of us doesn't struggle and not one of us is not insecure

4.) Trust God even in the midst of darkness, because even though it seems he has gone missing, somehow, in that moment of trial he is working for a greater good.

5.) If what you want is pure, lovely and true...GO FOR IT!

6.) We all make many mistakes, we all have epic failures, some people don't forgive or forget but then there is God who knows each of our hearts. He knows what we feel and he knows how we ache. All we have to do is acknowledge his love and believe it to be true and we are set free!

7.) If you have a dream that you are in love with, follow that dream. Take a small step each day towards it, never give up.

8.) Never doubt that you can reach people, don't focus on the masses focus on one. For what you do for one will reach the masses.

9.) Lend an ear, sometimes that is all someone needs.

10.) Don't beat yourself up when you don't get things right. If you don't like who you are or becoming, its not over. Seek his grace, seek his face, and become who you were meant to be.

Friendships that GROW you

1 Thessalonians  Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Part of making my word confidence come true this year is defining boundaries with people. I have always prided myself on the fact that I had few friends but very good friendships. I work hard at making them work, always keeping in touch even though I’m always running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I have always cherished my friends like a sacred jewel, we each had our own connections and bonds that I thought would last a lifetime. But the thing is- things change and people change. I remember calling one of my best friends teary eyed and needing someone to lean on, I poured out my latest hardship to her and I was met with some surprising words “ I just can’t relate to you anymore, my life is different than yours”. I was in shock that she would even say that but as the years passed we drifted further and further apart. I don’t know if you have ever done this like me but I put that friendship on a pedestal. We had grown up together and I thought we would always be like two peas in a pod. I was really, really hurt about her lack of care for my life and what I was going through. We did live in different states, she had a marriage, two kids and stayed at home, I was a single, dating mom who worked 9-5; however I thought the bonds of friendship were stronger than any circumstance. I was wrong and it took me a long time to let go of hoping that we could laugh until our bellies ached and talk for hours about anything and everything. It seemed like we were breaking up as friends and it was almost worse than breaking up with a boyfriend because girls are just supposed to get one another. We are supposed to be like that safe haven when men just don’t get us and leave us to our complicated, sometimes bloated selves;).

But this whole experience of my friendship changing slowly yet unexpectedly has taught me a great deal about boundaries. I cherished my friends so much I often would not cherish myself enough. I got walked on, taken advantage of, or put on the back burner at times. I kept thinking to myself oh they will come around, they will come through for me, they are going through a hard time and the excuses rolled on. But I’m learning that some friendships should be seasons, some are around for the long haul  and some need to be relinquished so we can continue growing.  There needs to be a re-evaluating of the heart of what needs to change, remain the same or let go. There is always going to be rough patches, difficult times and that is life. But to live life being drained by friendships, feeling put down or out constantly is just not okay.  I’m learning this as I rediscover confidence, I want to be able to walk away from my hanging out with my friends feeling like I’m becoming a better person, encouraged, and heard. If you don’t feel that way than its time to put up some boundaries and for me that is taking the time to invest in new friendships, new seasons, and finding a better me.

XOXO Nicole Renee