The Bachelor

There are only two shows I watch per year that suck me into their black hole The Bachelor and American Idol. I have watched The Bachelor since the first time Chris Harrison announced, “Ladies, it’s the final rose, if you don’t get a rose say your goodbyes”. What he doesn’t mention is: pack your burdens, heartbreaks, unanswered questions and take a hike. Then we watch the latest damsel in distress get into the limo with the camera about a quarter inch from her splotchy face taking in every last teary (sometimes dreadful) detail. Another girls hope crushed by an over romaticized relationship on national TV. As I click off The Bachelor I find myself whirling in that idea of a romantic fairytale land where my dream man chooses me, “And the final rose goes to…”

 meanwhile back to reality….

What really matters?

Even though I thoroughly enjoy watching The Bachelor, I have come to the realization that I have romanticized dating since before the dawning of reality shows. I’ve always been drawn to what is handsome, charming, and personable because I was seeking out excitement. However, that way of thinking has gotten old along with the heartbreaks that follow that way of doing things.  Over the last couple years I have began to redefine the maps to my heart and not until recently did they start to lead me somewhere positive. Instead of looking towards the “handsome, alluring package” my focus is on the heart of things- the deeper matters. I crave for a connection that can’t be found frolicking on the shores of Maui or Cabo San Lucas. I want to see the heart of Jesus in the man I’m with. I want to see compassion for the broken, lonely and despaired. I want a man to stand beside me and desire to lead me especially when temptations are too much to bear or I am weak in my own faith. I want to reach out and be found with the ability to be completely vulnerable whether it’s with my heart or how I look.

The more I discover my beauty and wholeness in Jesus the more my heart changes and grows. That fantasy or ideal relationship looks so different than before. It’s starting to look more like worship, prayer, compassion, empathy, and devotion. I’m starting to believe that the attraction that lasts forever is the wholeness of another person- that they know who they are to Jesus and how much they mean to Jesus. The longing for lustful things is losing its grip on my soul, in its place is the value of a man, the value of an authentic relationship, and the hope that I can find someone who will meet me on a path less traveled towards the throne of Jesus.