Worthy of Worship

Two rows in front of me at church I saw this adorable loving couple. As I watched them I could see that the guy was in his mid-twenties and genuinely loved the girl he was with as he attentively rubbed her back, and placed his arm around her with an occasional kiss. They both worshiped the Lord freely with hands lifted and hearts bent toward the heavens.  Looking at them I yearned not only for that affection and embrace from a man but also to have a relationship that glorified Jesus. As I continued to be memorized by this couple who seemed to be newly in love bitterness crept into my heart.

All the broken relationships I had been in clouded my thoughts and my heart grew heavy. I've tried to become a strong woman after Gods heart refining myself for my prince yet here I am still alone, nothing has worked out. I've had dreams of a Godly relationship but failed to find someone to lead, instead I find myself stranded in the “singles” world trying to be strong, confident and okay with just being me. As the band struck up the music and worship began I could feel unstoppable tears beginning to form in the back of my eyes. “Why does that girl  I don’t even know get her love story and why am I stranded out here Lord?”, “ Why do I try so hard to be who you desire to be left alone Lord?”, “Will anyone be able to love me and Jalen completely Lord?”

The last thing I wanted to do was worship. Turns out the whole sermon was going to be about worship that evening. Non-stop praising the Lord, and then the worship leader began to tell us “God is worthy of our worship”. As the first song played I was like a child, arms stuck in my pockets I didn’t utter a single lyric as I clung to my stranded heart. The next song started to play and I watched the young couple praising aglow with fire and passion, my heart softened as I took in the beauty of their love. As the band kept playing my heart lifted and the pastors words lingered in my mind, “God is worthy of our worship”.

As those words kept replaying in my head that evening my self doubting, coveting, woe is me thoughts changed and God had the victory over my defeat. I was reminded he is sovereign and there is not one thing that I am going through that is greater than him. Laying down my needs and desires to praise the Lord even in my darkest hour and deepest sadness is where God is glorified and I find rest. Its in that place of sweet surrender and trust in God that I'm reassured my love story is in the palm of his hand. In worship my brokenness is no more and all my love, faith, and hope is restored.

Yes pastor, you are correct, He is more than worthy of my worship.